Living Rural

 Laughter keeps us young … enjoy!     

         TOP 8 MORONS OF 2007

        1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President

        John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual

       leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.

         Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence.

         2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA

        spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had

         barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas

         canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing

        beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out and

         give yourself up.”

         3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a

       gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two

         different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper

         proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

   4.. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop

         and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently,

         the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and

         worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed

        up and grabbed him.

       5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with

       a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a

        lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat

         the words: “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot”, the man

         shouted, “that’s not what I said!” .

         6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the

         phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two

        minutes apart”. “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked.

         “No!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!”

       7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven

        Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of

         America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a

         finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his

         hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

        8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella,

         located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA,

         some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter

        how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 foot

         boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no

        matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of

       trying to make it go, they pulled into a nearby marina,

         thinking someone there might be able to tell them what was

         wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect

         working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up

        and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch.

        So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check

       underneath He came up choking on water he was laughing so hard.

         NOW REMEMBER…THIS IS TRUE.

        Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the

         trailer!

Thanks again to my friend, Mona, for sharing her connections to laughter!

 Check out the humor of  squiffy2 here   http://cre8buzz.com/profiles/847

Remember, “Y’all come back, ya’ hear!”